Halloween Kills (2021) movie review
<sighs> Halloween Kills is a sequel to the 2018 Halloween which is in turn a direct sequel to the 1978 Halloween, retconning the other sequels. The film picks up after the 2018 film where Michael Myers escapes the burning house and begins killing people. Again. Now, like most, I thought the 2018 film was so-so, but I of course love the original film. Critics and audiences are significantly less generous so far…
Films I have walked out of: Inherent Vice (2014), because I was over two hours in and didn’t have a clyue what was going on: Chappaquiddick (2017), because a group of us film students were all bored to tears; The Dead Don’t Die (2019), because Rachel and I found it ironically lifeless; and now Halloween Kills (2021), because it’s the most insultingly gratuitous and unfollowable idiotic slasher film I’ve ever seen in theaters. (Take in mind that’s not that many, but wow I had high hopes for this film…)
Also full disclosure: Since I have Malignant (2021) a 2/10, I have bumped it up to a 3/10 then a 4/10 thanks to significantly worse and less original horror films. Also I did finish Halloween Kills this morning, so let’s get to tearing this film apart! But hey, if all you want is just a dumb, cheesy horror movie where Michael Myers kills lots of people- congrats. You got it.
First, I think taking the focus off of the protagonist is a foolish way to write a film. Sure Jamie Lee Curtis returns as Laurie! Aaaand she’s benched for the game. In her place is way too many extras all taking turns gathering or joining a posse to go find Michael and get killed by Michael. Remember all the kids from the original film and all the characters from the 2018 film and how connected everything is? Well you’d better, because all of that is important! And somehow, none of it FEELS important. Really nothing in this movie feels important at all… Heck we get flashbacks developing Hawkins as a character both now and in 1978- none of which matters because he also sits out the action…
Sure the film tries to focus on the idea of mob mentality in a very classic throwback to 40s horror, but every time it drives home a potent moment, it follows it with gruesome violence for its own sake. Want to know what else we get other than too many characters and too much mindless violence? 17 variations on the phrase “Evil dies tonight.,” including but not limited to, ‘Michael dies tonight,’ ‘this ends tonight,’ let’s kill Michael,’ ‘blah blah blah dies kill stupid movie.’ Plus a heavy dose of, “It’s Michael,’ ‘Michael is back,’ ‘Michael did this,’ ‘this was Michael,’ YEAH NO KIDDING OF COURSE IT WAS FREAKING MICHAEL STOP SAYING IT!
You know what? There’s a saying that goes, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.’ I think the nicest thing I have to say right now is that this movie could somehow be worse. It could be a two hour HBO Max commercial. So yeah, Halloween Kills. Hated it. 3/10 because I keep bumping ratings up or down or it doesn’t matter does it? 2/10? 3/10? Garbage is garbage.
So Halloween Kills? Don’t see it.
-review by Ryan Prince